Mack Brown and his elite gray sweat security team | Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports
Take your shirt off whip it around your head it’s football season
Freshly squeezed from the sub-basement level of TNIAAM HQ it’s the internet’s most ridiculous college football preview series- #FakeNunes. We weren’t sure we’d get here but since we’re going to have college football, we’re also going to have #jokesandgarbage.
So onto the week one preview….
Opponent: North Carolina Tar Heels
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
Students: 18, 946
The 2020 Fake Nunes Statistical Index (#FNSI)
We continue to look to innovate our analytics model so we here’s what the lab cooked up for this season.
The last time Syracuse traveled to the Triangle they came away with a win wearing this look. We don’t expect anything new so it’s either the traditional road look or we get the all-whites for this one.
The Tar Heels typically wear their Carolina Blue helmets and jerseys with white pants at home. The argyle on the sides of the pants really add a unique look to the set.
Advantage: UNC. I’m a sucker for the argyle side panel which is better than Syracuse’s generic team uniform
The distance traveled
Something new for this year is to dig through each roster and find the player from the furthest distance from the school. Not their hometown but where they played previous to enrollment. How is that relevant to a game prediction? Can you think of a better measure of “want-to” than measuring how far a player travels? For Syracuse the player is Maximilian Mang from Nuthetal Germany (3,930 miles) while for UNC the player is Don Chapman from San Diego (2,520 miles)
Football Program Hashtag:
None vs #BeTheOne
It looks like Syracuse has finally retired #OITNF and decided not to replace it with anything. We certainly applaud this decision to go in a new direction but wonder why there’s no replacement? (Make your hashtag suggestions in the comments or on Twitter and the best ones will be featured here throughout the season).
Meanwhile UNC is apparently looking for their own Neo with their choice. Red pill, blue pill, it won’t matter if the Tar Heels are able to slow down time.
There’s something a bit uncomfortable about schools keeping only their athletes on campus while everyone else is working remotely so the edge here goes to the school holding in-person classes.
The Official #FakeNunes Game Prediction:
Syracuse starts off with Chris Elmore at offensive guard. In the second quarter, he sees snaps at defensive tackle and tight end. After half-time Elmore opens up behind Tommy DeVito as the Orange run a single-back three tight-end formation. The strategy looks to be a disaster when Syracuse goes three and out but after nine straight runs the UNC defense refuses to get in front of Elmore. Sam Howell does his best to keep the Tar Heels offense matching scores but late in the game he gets stuffed on 4th and goal by Elmore as Syracuse leaves town with a 38-33 win.