There are some dogs that could make an impact
It’s the holiday season and the Buffalo Bills find themselves in a good position with just a couple more games to play in the 2024 NFL regular season. Buffalo already clinched the AFC East a few weeks ago and are close to clinching the two seed in the AFC.
However, there are some holes on the roster that many notice when watching Bills games. The defensive line has been inconsistent at times and more fire power on offense couldn’t hurt.
After thinking all day about how the Bills could fix these issues, you might find yourself like me and turn on a Christmas movie until it is time bed time. Now, what if you could take one of those characters out of your favorite Christmas movie and place them on Buffalo’s roster? Would such tomfoolery even work? Let’s explore…
Perhaps the most obvious choice is Yukon Cornelius from “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.” Yukon is the perfect candidate to put on the defensive line to wreak havoc on opposing quarterbacks. Many of you might remember defensive end Trent Murphy during his time with the Bills and he’s the perfect comparison for Yukon. Cornelius is used to adversity dealing with harsh snowy conditions in the mountains, making the snow in Orchard Park, NY seem like a joke.
Sticking with the defensive line, especially at defensive tackle where production has been sparse at best. Consider Frosty the Snowman. Frosty has the size to be a force on the line and eat up double teams so that Ed Oliver can get to work. Now Frosty may seem too nice to be in the NFL but all you have to do is turn that smile upside down and you have one mean snowman. Depending on the snow, Frosty could be well over 300 pounds, making him a force to be reckoned with.
Now this could be a stretch depending on your definition of Christmas characters, but next up we have Jack Skeleton. There’s nothing wrong with adding another weapon to the offense and Jack certainly fits the bill. His length is unmatched being able to make contested jump-ball catches. The agility and speed is there as well, most notable in all the dance numbers in “The Nightmare Before Christmas.” Jack’s real size is unknown, but he is estimated to be between 6’ and 11’ tall, which is good enough in my book. The only concern is that if you lead him over the middle he doesn’t have enough meat on his bones to be able to take a hit and hang onto the football.
Lastly, we need some attitude on this football team and someone who’ll bring the fight with them. Look no further than the Grinch — one of the meanest characters there is. I don’t want the happy-go-lucky Grinch, I want the evil Grinch to give this football team some attitude. His Grinchiness is also smart enough to develop a solid game plan as well as include some cheating that could fly under the radar. Mr. Grinch is 6’2” tall, so he’s rather on the small size — so we may have to stick him on special teams, but that’s a unit in need of some improvement.
Which Christmas characters are you adding to the squad — The Abominable Snowman, John McClain, Krampus, Gizmo, Turbo Man, Old Man Marley, Cousin Eddie, Frank Cross, Ralphie’s Old Man… those dogs that somehow manage to make movies for every conceivable event and holiday?